I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize