fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize