Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
