I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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