when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
