I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
