I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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