Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
