I want to stick my p in your. b.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize