SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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