I didn't shave. On purpose
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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