Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
