just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish I only lived at night.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize