i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
