my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
