I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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