You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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