I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize