david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
