Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I deserve this hangover.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
