You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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