Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
