Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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