There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
