my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
