so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
