is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
