I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
