i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
