I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize