I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
