i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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