Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
