I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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