On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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