Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
