im about as happy as oj after his trial
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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