You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
