Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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