my being single is dangerous.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
