I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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