I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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