In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
