FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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