He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
