The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize