there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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