I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
