So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
