3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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