maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
