Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
