If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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