Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
