I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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