we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
