I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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