Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
