Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
