So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
