that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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