I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
