did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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