The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
