All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
