i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
