I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize