Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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